It was a challenge for me to write this testimony, since I myself was not exactly sure how I became so in love with Jesus and so on fire with my faith. My journey towards this desire for holiness was a very gradual one, one that is 20 years in the making, and counting.
I was born in the Philippines, so like more than eighty percent of the country, was b
aptised and raised in the Catholic faith. My family and I would attend mass every Sunday, pray the rosary, and watch Christian cartoons. I could not be any more of a Catholic kid. Yet, the faith I had came out of the fear of God. I continued to have the same mentality soon after my family immigrated to Canada, where we found the Canadian Martyrs parish and my parents and a few others formed a prayer group. Because of this group, my family and I immersed ourselves in various services in the parish. At this point, I was convinced that I loved God, and that He loved me. But it did not go any deeper than this.
aptised and raised in the Catholic faith. My family and I would attend mass every Sunday, pray the rosary, and watch Christian cartoons. I could not be any more of a Catholic kid. Yet, the faith I had came out of the fear of God. I continued to have the same mentality soon after my family immigrated to Canada, where we found the Canadian Martyrs parish and my parents and a few others formed a prayer group. Because of this group, my family and I immersed ourselves in various services in the parish. At this point, I was convinced that I loved God, and that He loved me. But it did not go any deeper than this.During my mid to late teens, I was asked by one of the prayer group leaders to take on the role of leading a youth prayer group, seeing as how I was present at every prayer meeting and volunteered my time for the church. With this new responsibility, I felt that I needed to be equipped with a good knowledge of Catholic teachings, and the faith introduced to me by my parents needed to be my own. I hungered for more than the thought that God loves me but if I don’t obey, then to hell I go. But the doubt that there wasn’t anything more to this kept resonating in my head and it was harder to find the motivation to take my relationship with God to the next level, especially since my environment at school refused to even acknowledge His existence. I had become lukewarm in my faith.
Then a zany priest, Fr. Lucien Larre, celebrated a few masses at our parish. His homilies were the first ones I actually listened to, and in them, he repeated that Jesus did not just die for people in general, but died for me as if I was the only person on earth. This idea baffled me and gave me the push to explore my Catholic beliefs. A series of questions kept popping up in my head about Church teachings, and I found myself becoming more and more curious and adamant to find answers. I would search online, staying up until the early morning reading Mark Hart the Bible Geek’s explanations. I made a serious effort to pay attention during homilies, I attended talks, joined a CCO faith study during Impact 2007, and jumped at almost every opportunity to know more about why that man on the cross thought I was worth saving. The more I searched, the more His existence made sense to me, and the more beautiful I found His unconditional love.
Through this new knowledge of his unconditional love, I found meaning and joy in all the services I was doing at church, I would catch myself talking to Him at odd hours of the day telling Him anything and everything, and even congratulating Him on His genius during science classes. Instead of just regurgitating, I was able to relate to the prayers I was told to memorize and recite as a kid. As I learned more about Christ and the Catholic church, my excitement grew to share what I had found, especially to the youth prayer group. Through all of this, I realized the importance of continuous searching, learning, and growing in my faith and relationship with Jesus.
Kneeling before the blessed sacrament, I urge you to reflect upon the beauty of the truth that He was thinking about you specifically when He was up on that cross. Be open to whatever questions might come to you, and don’t be afraid to ask those questions later on, for it’s in searching for Christ that we come to know Him in more than just a superficial level. Once we have the desire and make the effort to get to know Him, He will present Himself in the most beautiful ways, in His own time, in a style unique to each person.
I like your testimony. I think this is Lynette right? Well, see you in Canadian Martyrs and maybe hopefully some day, I can join the 11:45am choir on sundays like when i graduate and am not working on weekends and evenings.
cheers,
Melcia
Posted by Melcia | October 4, 2011, 3:09 amHey Lynette, it is me again, this is my favourite part of your testimony. You write very well. “for it’s in searching for Christ that we come to know Him in more than just a superficial level. Once we have the desire and make the effort to get to know Him, He will present Himself in the most beautiful ways, in His own time, in a style unique to each person.”
Posted by Melcia | January 26, 2012, 7:31 am